The Couch Potato CAN Run!

I used to prove intractable when it comes to active fitness routines. I got bored and impatient with the repetition of gym programs. I abhorred jogging and claimed that the only way anyone can get me to run was through being chased by a pack of dogs. Then see me go! I also saw no point in trying out the treadmill. Running in place, going nowhere.

I'm fitness' one tough customer.

I tried tricking myself, actually. I explored different sports that I found interesting, just to find one I could actually stick with because I found it exciting enough. Rifle and Pistol Team, mountaineering, rock climbing, hiking, swimming, circuit weight training, belly dancing, yoga, hip hop abs...I would have tried pole dancing and strip teasing if I had the moolah and the confidence for it!

But I was also my own saboteur. When I proved to myself that I could do it, I didn't feel the need to pursue it anymore. I didn't have any qualms about my own mortality and getting ripped abs was just really vanity for me. I felt I didn't really need to "save" myself with regular exercise.

So imagine when I found myself agreeing to run the Mommy Milkshake Marathon with my friend in August 2011. What was surprising was that I actually felt committed to doing it! That surprised me a lot!

(Thinking: Pack of dogs, pack of dogs...)

Well, since it's for a cause and not really a competition AND my first marathon, I wouldn't be hard put like the Iron Man participants. We'll be jogging with the kids in the strollers too and I'd really love that. Of course, RF will have to provide me with a carrot on a stick for motivation. Maybe a fudgie bar tied to the rear end of the car as I chase it down the road would be a good one! :P

Anyhoo, training for this would include walking to jogging and eventually, endurance running. I have to do some gym work too. And go back to swimming for my lungs and rock climbing to build my strength and stamina.

All this will have to be with kids included of course :) A great way to teach Oona and Olly so many things like how our bodies work, safety, health...This time, I know I'm going to have fun and keep at it, even after the marathon is done.

My running on a treadmill will now have a point and I won't need a pack of dogs chasing me to keep in shape.

More than getting a killer body or saying I want to be healthy for myself, Oona and Olly are my solid reasons that truly matter and are big enough for me.

Weight Loss Is A Total Lifestyle Change

It's a serious commitment to faithfully keep and real hard work (pretty much like what marriage is)! In this case, it's a relationship with your body you have to maintain and keep healthy.

When I decided to lose weight, I thought it was going to be as simple as popping a pill or not eating something.

No. It wasn't.

Sure you could just drink something, go to a clinic or starve yourself to emaciation, but then you go back to uncontrollable eating, unhealthy choices and bad habits, the pounds would just pile on faster and be harder to lose.

The key here is your motivation to lose weight. Unless your reasons for a change are deeply rooted, sustaining anything would be very hard. WHY do you want to lose weight? Do you want to look hot? Do you want to fit into a bikini? Do you want to be a model? Do you want to live longer? Do you want to feel better? Do you want to feel in control of yourself? Do you want to be more confident?

Whatever your compelling reasons may be, just be sure that you are safe and you don't compromise your health.

Apart from preparing myself mentally, I also had to prepare my body to lose the extra pounds. I also had to adjust my entire schedule, my grocery list, my budget and consider how these changes would be affecting my lifestyle and of those around me.

I know it sounds like I'm making it more complicated than it really is, but I just want to emphasize how much going healthy (with a side serving of losing weight) is a LIFE CHANGING EXPERIENCE and how it was very positive for me.

• CHANGE THE WAY YOU THINK. It's true when they say that the change starts within. I originally thought I could never go through with this and that I was doomed to drown in cholesterol. I was also afraid that if things didn't work out, I'd feel like a failure. I had to face the fact that I was justifying being too scared and lazy to start anything. Yup! It was hard at first, but the more I believed that it was possible, the better I felt to actually decide to do something and follow it up with action. It didn't take overnight, actually. It was a couple of weeks before I was confident enough to declare that I was going to make a change in my life.

• COMMIT. To yourself. Not to anyone else. You owe it to yourself to be the best you can be. Or if you're like me, look to your children. I could do it for myself anytime, but for my kids? I have to do this NOW. Their childhood is fleeting enough and my sense of urgency comes from this. I want to be healthy and strong enough to be able to enjoy their childhood with them. I don't want them to remember me as the perpetually tired and cranky old lady who happened to be their mother.

• PLAN. Be strict with yourself and draw up a list of your goals, your timeline and how you plan to achieve them. Be as detailed as you want to be, as long as it helps you and doesn't detract from what you want to achieve.

• FOLLOW THROUGH. Go on steadily with your plans. Know that there's no turning back when you've said good-bye to your old self. You own your life now and nothing can stop you. When there are bad days (and there will be), just whip out that list and remind yourself why you're on this journey.

Be patient and realistic. You know you've piled on the pounds for years so be kind to yourself and know that it's not going to show for a few weeks or months yet. However, the change starts INSIDE where you don't see it yet and that's the MOST important thing.

Having people around you who are supportive really helps a lot. If you're surrounded by negativity, find a support group who will be cheering you on this path. Or if you've a strong will, use that negative feedback to fuel your own determination. You''ll be having the last laugh and the living luscious proof of your life change staring them in the face when all is said and done. :)

The Luscious Life List

A good friend from college loved to make lists of things she liked and wanted to do in her life. She started me on it and quite recently, another friend's checklist reminded me to make one for this particular journey.

I like to put my goals down to keep things in perspective and keep me honest. Everytime I feel lost, impatient or discouraged, all I would need to do is refer to my list and follow my own directions.

The first three are my long-term goals to living a luscious life. Everything else are short-term goals that would help me ultimately achieve the big picture. I know it's not going to happen overnight but getting there would prove to be just as interesting!

a. Be a healthy, happy mommy, wife and homemaker raising healthy, happy human beings.

b. Provide for a secure, abundant life for my family.

c. Lead a long, fruitful, fulfilled, and contented personal life.

Taray! Demanding! Lolz :D

1. Project Flawless!
- Have my smile improved and my hair, skin and nails be at their healthiest best.
- Lose 60lbs. TOTAL. in about a year. Imagine 14 years of steadily packing it on with bad food, bad habits and no exercise. This means making good, healthy choices and activities to reclaim my body from obesity.

2. Run a marathon. Maybe not the ironman, I'm not bent on suicide! But the beginner types that won't kill me.

3. Swim ten laps in an olympic size pool like I used to ten million years ago.

4. Rock climb again. Hopefully hike up a mountain and not just a mole hill either. A real huge pile of dirt and rocks would be great!

5. Build several highly profitable and leverageable businesses. This means research and educating myself to go where I've never gone before!

6. Attend short business courses and seminars.

7. Learn and apply good, long-term investment practices. It would be great to have a diverse investment portfolio so rf and i will be comfortable in our old age and our kids would have more opportunities to stretch their wings.

8. Buy real estate property to rent, develop then resell.

9. Learn to sew clothes. I want to set up a tailor-fitting boutique type studio and custom costume shop. I always had difficulty finding the right clothes for my body type until I discovered the happiness which is tailor-made clothes :)

10. Have a one man show and publish poetry.

11. Be good friends with my kids. The type they talk to about anything before going to bed and whenever they need to.

12. Learn to make jewelry and design stuff I can sell, exhibit and export.

13. Rediscover my flirty side with my hubby.

14. Teach my kids to be the best they can be, whatever it may be.

HMMM...this is a long list in the making! I'll add to this more!

In Another Universe

Reposted from Mommyluscious "Parallel Universes-What If?":

Let's play pretend.

In a parallel universe far, far away, I am still single at 31. I may or may not have a steady boyfriend, but I sure am not lonely. I go out with friends, officemates or by myself to clubs on most nights just because I can. I'm a known regular, on first name basis with the doorman, bartender and staff of more than one bar and I have my own tab.

I'm an executive at an advertising agency or a production house. I do paperwork but can pull my own weight on the field. I secretly want to be Indiana Jones so I'm taking up my anthropology masters degree.

When I'm not at work, school or living it up, I can be found at home. I have my own pad. Small but all mine. Next door are my best friends. We bought the property and divided it among ourselves. I read, write, paint or draw when the muse so moves me. I enjoy a glass of wine on the patio and a good conversation when my friends are around as well.

On weekends, I go to the beach whenever I can. Surfing season finds me leaving work on Friday to head straight to the surfing camp four hours away. I arrive at night, have a good dinner and sleep til dawn when I wake to catch a good wave.

My family lives in the same house we've lived in since we were kids. I spend weekends there every other week or they go to the beach with me. I have nieces and nephews and godchildren galore so the family home is a riot especially on sundays.

I retire by 45, squirreling away funds to buy property and set up a business. I grow to a venerable old age living on an island 5 minutes by outboard from the mainland, surrounded by trees, ocean and my p's: poetry, pantings and pottery. I die peacefully in my sleep.

A nice, tidy, colorful existence. But no RF. And definitely a given, no Oona or Olly. I wouldn't even have known how it would feel to wake up at odd hours, be bone tired or as frustrated as Oona in the middle of a communication crisis. I won't worry about pedia visits, vaccines, hospitals or natural remedies. There would be no child-made messes, poopy diapers and I would always smell good. Not like right now, you'd know I'm *this* deep in milk, toddler snot and diapers!

But it would be a given too, that there wouldn't be good morning kisses or hugs just because. There wouldn't be silly nonsense games where you both end up laughing. No tickling before bed. No amazement at every little thing. No excitement and wonder that comes so easy for children and how generously they share it with you.

I guess it depends on how you look at it. On one hand, ignorance could be bliss. On the other, I may have lost something infinitely better and was never the wiser for it. Who knows?

Anyhoo, that's one parallel universe for me. I know I got a lot of alternate realities in existence out there.

So what's yours? :)

Owning My Life

Luscious, by definition means richly appealing to the senses or the mind, sweet, and extremely pleasurable.

I want a life like this and having the kids around inspires me to be more than I am right now. They deserve the best of me and I know that means physically, mentally and spiritually.

I used to put this off for a variety of reasons. Primarily, I put other people's needs and wants before mine. Now I've come to believe that being selfish sometimes isn't a bad thing when it comes to self-preservation. But more than this most basic human need to protect oneself, valuing and honoring the self requires a certain degree of this selfishness.

It could also be a fear of change. I, who thrived on variety and dynamic situations, have found out that I do seek comfort in the familiar and constant. While security provides stability, change needs to happen for one to grow and thrive. And like any human being, it really is a scary thing to jump into untested waters.

But all you have to do is have faith that everything is perfect in the universe, and then just jump into it. It would be hard at first (and scary) but that's what happens when you accept that YOU are responsible for your life, you have sole control, and you can steer it in any direction you wish because you have finally owned your life.

You might even surprise yourself when wings sprout and you actually fly!

Reposted from Mommyluscious "Why Wait":

I don't mind taking turns, exercising patience and waiting for my ship to come in. In fact, it's one of the virtues I try to teach Oona.

However, there are some situations when you just hafta really hustle if you wanna get a move on!

I'm tired of waiting on fate to bring me what I want. I'm tired of watching people achieve their dreams first. I'm tired of putting myself on hold. I'm tired of postponing my plans and delaying my dreams. I'm done, I'm through, I'm stopping this nonsense right now.

That dream career? I'm taking that. That house? I'll take it. Those fat bank accounts and paying investments? They're mine, thank you. That glamorous, wonderful goddess in the mirror? Why, that's me! Worshipping is allowed, mortal. Bring tribute and I shall be pleased.

When you want something done right, you do it yourself. You don't need to hitch your wagon to someone else's shooting star. You can fly yourself to the moon even if you have to build the dang rocket out of scrap metal and spare parts.

What's life without grabbing some bulls by the balls? Er...Horns. I meant, horns.

For this instance, I'm tired of just waiting for good things to happen to me and for me. I'm making them happen right now.

My change to living lusciousness has begun.

My Pledge To My Girls, My Promise To Myself

I started this whole losing weight thing with this. It sounds shallow, wanting to have my 17 year old body back, but in the context of strength, stamina and health to be there for the kids, I know a lot of parents would want the same thing.

So, just to keep reminding myself of my compelling reasons, I'm reposting this from my parenting blog Mommyluscious, my entry "Seventeen Again":

I am losing weight. I will have my 17-year old body back, with the strength and stamina to keep up to the physical demands of a toddler and an infant hell-bent on conquering gravity. All this is possible, attainable and on a timeline of one year. From now. And no, I'm not crazy or suicidal.

Let's break it down.

At first it started as a desire to be more present as a positive figure for the kids; to be more active and not just cope with my role as mother and homemaker. I wanted more energy to lead a more productive, positive life to set an example for our growing girls. Lately I've been feeling so run down that I haven't been at my best. I mean, I have a strong personality and can be cantankerous. But lately I've been cranky, short-tempered, easily frustrated and impatient. More than usual! Especially since the girls have just had a bout with the cold bug, I'm just plain exhausted. I do have help from my family, but I still feel drained at the end of the long, long day.

Things kind of snowballed from there. I realized that I wanted so much more for the kids, for RF, for our family. From life, for our life! For myself! Self-examination really does cook up a lot of food for thought! One small decision makes a lot of ripples, affecting everything in our lives. One small change makes a huge difference.

I know it's not going to be overnight nor is it going to be easy. But I also know it's going to be interesting and so worth it, a year from now!  

Even reaching just half my goal at that time would be fantastic. I'm not sabotaging my motivation, mind you. I'm just being realistic. I'm keeping my eyes on that cheese but I won't kill myself over it. Also, I'm still going to be breastfeeding Olly. All changes would have to consider her health and well-being as well.



me, at 17!

Now, at 31 years old, I weigh about 180 lbs. at my height of 5'1. (Ugh. I just revealed to the world what, until now, only my medical records know!)

At 17, I was 120 lbs. Wow. Saying 14 years of poundage sounds better than saying by exactly how much I'm over the right weight!

Good GOD.



That there, are 60 lbs. of bad food and bad habits, sneaking up on you. You'd think 4 lbs a year wouldn't be so bad!

So my goal is to lose 60lbs in 12 months. 5 lbs per month, 1lb a week.

*long pause*

Can I lose in 1 year what took me 14 years to gain?

YES I CAN.

Moving To The Front Row Of My Life

Change seems to be the theme for the rest of the year for me. Not just any change, mind you. Significant ones.

While I've had many, many changes in my life, both big and small, I can only count a few that I've truly decided upon, taken charge of and did not just leave up to fate.

When Oona blew out the candles for her 3rd birthday last August 15, I couldn't help feeling that my baby was growing up too fast for me! Huffy puffy Mommy trying desperately to catch up with her mile-a-minute mind, rapid-fire questions and road-runner legs. Let's not forget 6 month old butterball Olly, challenging time and human evolution by constantly trying to crawl and stand ahead of schedule and fly off the bed, in defiance of gravity. It takes all the mommy powers I can muster to last the day with these two bundles of energy!

So as Oona's candles poofed out, the idea of a change that MUST happen flared to life. I wanted to be more involved in the laughter and fun in their lives. I don't want to just exist from chore to chore, duty to duty, stretching what I had to cover what needed to be done for the kids. I wanted to have more out of the relationship we share. I didn't want to be too tired to enjoy being with them.

Really, most days, I'm too pooped to be fun, I'm short-tempered and more of an ogre than I care to admit. Sound familiar, anyone?

Like most mothers, our priorities revolve around the kids, our husbands and partners, our families. We put ourselves, by default, in second, third and even last place. But our roles, quite by paradox, always demand that we be at the front line of everything for the family. Yes, like soldiers.

We barely even have time for ourselves like we used to because there's the guilt that every available time and attention should be invested in the kids, the husband and the family or else you're not being a good wife or mother.

That's not fair, is it? Does that sound like your internal dialogue?

Let's be realistic. We can't expect others to take care of us. It would be great, yes! But we have to take the initiative to do things for ourselves. We can't expect martyrdom or a shaft of light from heaven transforming us into perfection. You'd have to be dead, I think and I want to be alive to enjoy myself.

In a nutshell, I want enough of me to go around and have something left for ME. I don't want to feel run down anymore because I should be enjoying myself and the time I have with the kids. I know they won't be babies for long and sooner than I would like to, they'll be spreading their wings to fly solo. So for a change, I think I ought to put myself in the front row of my life, our family's life!

I want more. I want the place of privilege I know I deserve.

To be there not just as a frontliner at the trenches, but sitting pretty, joining in the fun and laughter, making good, happy memories, watching my kids and my family bloom and grow from my plush front row seat.

I am daring to be in front.